An Unlikely Friendship: Jonathan and David

When I say the word friendship, numerous stereotypes come to mind. Friendship is something we all want, but have little idea as to what it genuinely means. When looking at the newest social media posts, they all phrase the same desire. “Here is my best friend for life,” or “Friends that party together, stay together.” When reading the Bible the idea of friendship comes up a lot. In Proverbs it talks about how there is a friend sticks closer than a brother. God created friendship to help spur us on to love and do good deeds to others. So Gracie and I asked ourselves, what is a true friendship? In pursuing that, we went to one of the most profound stories of friendship in the Bible - David and Jonathan. This story involves two people that have such an unlikely, beautiful, so-good-it’s-worth-mentioning-in-the-Bible, friendship. While reading about Jonathan and David’s life, I couldn’t help but notice 3 reoccurring themes present themselves continually over the course of their friendship: love, selflessness, and commitment.

1) Friendship thrives on love. “...the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” -1 Samuel 18:1

“…for he loved him as he loved his own soul.” -1 Samuel 20:17

Now, it sounds weird right? Jonathan’s soul being knit to David’s? I’m no nurse yet, but ehhhhhh. But imagine being so close to someone that you truly feel that your souls have been knit together. When I first met Gracie I never pictured we’d even be close friends, she was the popular girl in the homeschool community and I was, well, the awkward girl. But when she first invited me to church after I was searching for one, I knew something was different about this girl. Not only that she brushes her teeth when she gets nervous, but because she knew her identity was solely in Christ. In 1 John 4:8 It talks about how God is love. Imagine if two people not only loved each other with the love from God, but take that love and blessed others with it.

Application point: If you want to have a friendship like Jonathan and David, you must have the mindset of them. They wanted their friendship to be founded on Christ so that the blessing of their friendship could be a tool for God to use to strengthen themselves and others. What is your friendship founded on?

2) Friendship thrives on selflessness. “Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.” -1 Samuel 18:4

It’s important to realize that every time Jonathan would promote David’s desires or would save David from the wrath of his father, jonathan was risking his chance of inheriting his father’s profit and approval. He thought the costs of his friendship with David was more than his earthly treasures.

Not too long ago, Gracie and I went to a rap concert with artists that weren’t well known. Not to mention, they fit into the “hard rap” category, and if you know anything about rap, you know what that means. Anyhow, she heard I was going alone and told me she would go with me. and folks, she DOESN’T like rap. I was a little nervous about the concert, a lover of rap, let alone taking Gracie, someone who is not a fan, to it. Needless to say, I made us stand in the front row about 5 feet from the artists and did my stellar homeschool dance moves the entire concert. Low and behold, I looked over and Gracie was dancing away as well (granted her dance moves were a little inferior to my, well, stellar moves.)

Application point: true friendship takes a lot of self-sacrificing. Jonathan could have gained his father’s favor and riches if he did everything his father asked, but he chose to follow God and stay loyal to David. In what ways do you sacrifice for your friends?

3) Friendship thrives on commitment. “And he said unto him, fear not: for the hand of Saul my father shall not find thee; and thou shalt be king over Israel, and I shall be next unto thee; and that also Saul my father knoweth.” – 1 Samuel 23:17. The amount of encouragement in the passage above is enough to swoon a words of affirmation lover. Ah.

Have you ever been in the car with someone and you’re on the verge of tears, but you really hope they don’t ask you how you’re doing because you might explode in a cryfest? I remember driving Gracie home after an event and silently praying she wouldn’t ask about my well being. But Gracie knew something was wrong, and so she asked, despite my many quiet prayers, how I was doing. Before I could get out, “fine,” she said, “Emily, everything is going to be ok.” and that’s when I lost it. My advice? Don’t cry when you’re the one driving. ha!

Once we got to the house and the car was in park (safety at last again!), she hugged me, prayed, and with every whispered word of encouragement, it sort of felt like she was just repeating, “I’m with you.”. And you know it’s real encouragement when you feel a little more courageous after it. I don’t think I’ve appreciated our friendship as much as I did that night.

Application point: Jonathan showed David his commitment by continually saving him from his father’s wrath and giving him words of encouragement. We can show our friends that we are committed by praying for them, offering words of wisdom, showing them how much they mean to us with an act of service, and just being with them. In what ways have you showed your friends that you’re committed to them?

I really respect Jonathan and David’s friendship because to be quite frank, it’s very hard to do. Nowadays, people don’t value true friendship, which results in new best friends every week, a lack of care for those around us, and bitterness. But really loving someone, putting them before yourself, and committing to them takes a lot of effort. Although the amount of work is costly, the ways in which you can bless and be blessed by such a friendship is worth praising, it’s worth wanting, it’s worth pursuing.

-Emily & Gracie

5 Tips on Finishing the Summer Strong

There are 104 days of summer break.

That is roughly around 14.8 weeks.

That means there are 2496 hours in which you have the freedom to do, well, whatever.

When finals ended back in May, my to-do list was pretty simple: Nothing. Oh the sweet joys of doing nothing. But as I found out, as I’m sure many other of my fellow scholars discovered, doing nothing gets old... real fast.
By the end of week one, I was done sleeping all day and eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. But like I said, it got old real fast. So I set out to make the summer break of 2015 one of growth and learning, not just of rest and relaxation.
I do realize this post is coming a tad late, and summer break is halfway over (I also realize there could be people like Emily and who have been taking crazy summer classes and cannot relate to the rest and relaxation part, but pay attention still), and this is a list for those of us who want to finish this summer strong, wanting to embark on something that will grow us individually. Here’s some tips:

1.) Make a Plan- This may sound straight forward, but I can’t tell you the impact it has had. A couple weeks ago at a college team meeting, our leader asked us all what our goals were for the summer. We each spent some time writing out our goals for the summer on a notecard. When God tells us he wants to do great and mighty things, we first must know what those things are. God laid it on my heart that I needed to learn what it means to be a servant, especially to my family, but I first had to seek Him out, and then write it down. Spend some time in prayer to earnestly ask God what he wants these final weeks of summer to look like for you, and then write it down. Stick it to your mirror, tape it to your door, stamp it on your heart. The promise is not, “If you do incredible things for me this summer, sacrifice your comforts, dreams, and desires, you will find me. He says, ‘If you seek me you will find me.’” Seek out God in a desire to learn what your plan for the summer should be.
"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." -Mark 11:24

2.) Find People to do it with - This can look like a couple different things. For me, it isn’t so much that I need people to help me serve others, but more I need people to keep me accountable on serving others. Finding those people in my life who are committed to my growth this summer and will hold me accountable to my goals, makes the process 10x more effective and enjoyable.

3.) Read your Bible - As straightforward as this may sound, read your bible every day. If we want to be Christians following the Word of God, we must be in the Word of God on a consistent basis. I promise you, developing the habit of reading your bible in the summer when plans are flexible and job schedules vary will make this upcoming semester easier when trying to cram in bible readings in between statistics and bio lab (I’m super looking forward to next semester…).

4.) Turn it off - “Look at me, look at me, look at me!” screams my phone every 5 seconds. Between Facebook, instagram, twitter (yes I have a twitter, and sometimes I even tweet), and snapchat, the distractions never end. If there’s one encouragement I would give young individuals yearning after God this summer- turn it off. Go on a walk, eat some delicious food, write a letter to someone you know is in need of some encouragement, talk to the parents- you probably didn’t see much over the semester. Even if it’s just an hour everyday, put your phone under your pillow and walk away. The act is freeing and I promise you, you’ll have a more productive and rewarding summer.

5.) Go to Sleep- Maybe with my recent graduation of high school, I feel I’m getting old. Don’t worry Mom, I’m kidding. But I found a link the other day to 34 Bible verses about rising early and the biblical promises attached to it. Waking up early in the morning is refreshing. Let me repeat that. Going to bed a decent hour so you can start the day off right and accomplish what you need to/want to accomplish is refreshing. You have a plan, you have the people in your life who will hold you accountable and encourage you in that plan, you are reading the Word, and you have turned off some of the distractions. Well by golly, the last step is go to sleep so you can set off for this plan tomorrow!!!!

May the Summer of 2015 be filled with growth and joy as you follow our Savior. Now go to sleep friends so tomorrow may be filled with the Word and service God has in store for you. I’ll be praying for you all, and if you want to tweet me...well...I might even tweet back.

An Open Letter To My High School Freshman Self

I don't know about you, but I know so many people who are graduating from junior high, high school and college this month! It got me thinking about when I was a freshman in high school 5 years ago. It was a year filled with victories, struggles and clueless-ness. If I could meet my high school freshman self today, this is what I’d tell her:

Dear Emily,

Breathe. I say this first because I know you. I know how much you want to figure everything out and somehow solve the uncertainty you are facing. I would tell you that you won’t figure out your burning desire to know where exactly you’ll be and what exactly you’ll do after high school ends, but you probably won’t believe me when I say that you still won’t know when you’re in college. Trust God fully when He says He’ll lead you.

Don’t spend so much of your time replaying the moments of your day. You’ll soon see that the unkindness from others will fade faster than a single thought when you embrace the friendships of the people you are about to meet. When you think that you've messed everything up because of your quirkiness or wrong doings, remember to not be so hard on yourself—you are deeply loved by Jesus, The King of forgiveness.

I’d like to tell you not to think about boys so much, but you probably won’t listen. Don’t linger on the past when your 8^th grade crush tells you that your sisters are prettier than you. This is not true. Comparison is the thief of joy, and if you get married, one day your future husband will love the uniqueness of you- the amount of laughing, and all. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder- so be yourself.

Now pay attention because this is important: put a lot of effort into really loving those around you. Ask how their day is going, give them a compliment, and pay attention to their gestures. High school is hard on everyone.

Don’t forget to thank your high school history teacher—she is a gem that you won’t forget. Her love for The Lord and knowledge of history will encourage you more than you now realize. You won’t like the Dr. Grant lectures at first, but you will grow to love the wisdom, funny jokes and prayers within each lesson.

Thank mom for her silliness and affirming words that will last a lifetime. Not every kid gets to skip a school day to stay home so they could watch movies with their mom while eating popcorn and candy. Thank dad for working hard to take care of the family, and his faithfulness to The Lord. With every weekend that you play kickball, racquetball and paintball, put effort into connecting with dad and your siblings. You won't have this time later.

Take time to get to know your siblings- there is a unique story in every heart. Although it is so incredibly hard, love and serve them, as the rest of the world.

In ways you wouldn't think possible, life will be extremely devastating and very challenging. But it will also be filled with more joy, more peace, and more love than you’d ever imagine. Trust God. Hold tight, this adventure has only begun. You are so loved, Emily. And you've got this.

Love,

 Your sophomore-in-college self

Storytime Lessons With A Toddler

Having a nephew beginning to enter into that “toddler” phase is both a joy and a trial. A joy because he loves helping me put my clothes in the laundry basket, and a trial because if I forget to applaud him for helping, a fit only befitting a toddler might occur. But despite his toddler-ness, one of my favorite parts of being an Aunt is getting to read stories to my lil' buddy. We read lots of bible stories and animal books, but also sometimes, the classics.

In remembering the classics I was struck by the story of the Tortoise and the Hare. In case you haven’t been in touch with your classic storytime-self in awhile- I’ll refresh your memory.

Once upon a time…There was a Hare and a Tortoise.

This hare thought he was faster than all the animals of the land. He challenged anyone in the kingdom to a race if they thought they could beat him. Annoyed with his bragging, a tortoise stepped up. The most unlikeliest of all the animals. Through a bizarre set of events the Tortoise ends up beating the Hare, simply by putting one foot in front of the other.

“His master replied, ‘Well done good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’”

-Matthew 25:21

Someday I will stand before my Creator with awe and trembling. I really don’t want to hear,

“Well done, good and successful servant you were lazy and then would sprint, be arrogant and then would sprint…”

I want to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant, you put one foot in front of the other and walked toward me with everything you had…”

The pressures to do the “Big” things for Jesus will always be there. To arrogantly run this race as a full-on sprint to the end, as opposed to humbly walking this road with my hand held firmly to my Father.

I don’t want a crown of glory as much as I want to just make it.

The Tortoise didn’t have some blind faith that he would make it to the end and would beat the Hare. He simply trusted that slow and steady wins the race….Do I have the trust of the tortoise, or the arrogance of the Hare?

Faithfulness is not the arrogance of running but the perseverance of walking.

The Hare sat and waited till the end of the race so he could sprint to the finish line and receive all the glory.

The Tortoise faithfully trusted that with every step he took he was fulfilling what he was supposed to do.

I want to be the Tortoise.

Am I taking an action step of trust today that I am faithfully walking the way I should?

One step, two step, three step… Well done good and faithful servant.

Stalking Jesus

 
When I first started training for my marathon, (Oh yeah, surprise! I’m running a marathon!!) I embraced the mentality that I was doing this to get in shape, cross off a “to-do” item on my bucket list, and to put my body to the test. Of course, there are other reasons for running a marathon, like bragging rights, and the victory of saying, “I RAN A MARATHON,” on Facebook weighed more than a feather on the balance. But then one day, my motives changed….

One of my favorite authors said something I will never forget.

“I used to think I could learn about Jesus by studying Him, but now I know Jesus doesn’t want stalkers.”-Bob Goff

It was brought to my attention that I tend to stalk Jesus. I memorize verses, I gather information about His life during my Bible studies, and I talk to people about the amazing miracles He performed in His Word. And then I claim to know God because of it. Don’t get me wrong, memorizing scripture, reading the Bible and talking about Jesus are all great things to do (even necessary), but collecting information about a person is not the same as actually getting to know them.

It’s also just weird to memorize facts about someone when you don’t know them. Imagine me walking up to a stranger, knowing where they went to school, what they did for fun, and asking them how their uncle is doing after a recent fall down the stairs (assuming they do have an uncle who fell down the stairs). That stranger would be creeped out because I shouldn’t know about their uncle because we don’t hang out. But that’s what I did with Jesus. I knew where He went and what He did, but we didn’t hang out.

Memorizing facts won’t help me get closer to Jesus. If I didn’t do anything with Him, it would be like an arranged marriage. I don’t want to get to Heaven and say, “So, I’m with you?” I want to know who He is personally by hanging out with Him through prayer, scripture and action steps of faith.

My motives for running a marathon changed because I now see the minutes and hours of running as a time where I can get to know God. Instead of listening to tunes while jogging, I talk to God about the things that I care about. Being with God, talking to Him and reading scripture is how I’m going to grow in my relationship with Him. Of course, you don’t have to run a marathon to get to know God, you just have to invest time, like any other relationship. But the big difference is, He is the Creator of the universe and I fall to my knees in fear and love for Him. If He, for some reason, wants to hang out with me, then I’m in and I want to hang out with Him.


-Emily

8 Ways I'm Conquering My Fears This Year

Happy New Year!! Like many of you, I’ve made resolutions for 2015 and I’m so excited to become someone that I’ve never been before. Something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately is fear and how it often keeps me from becoming who God wants me to be…

 

So I thought I would make a list of things I usually fear and integrate some ways in which I intend change. 

8 ways I’m NOT going to let fear control me:

1)      I’m going to ask questions. Sometimes I can be so afraid to ask questions because I fear people will think I’m silly for asking. But how can I learn if I’ve never known? This year, I’m applying faith to my faith questions, to my school questions, to my church questions, and to my friend/family questions. No more shrinking back in my seat, wondering about something I’m unsure of.

2)      I’m going to admit that I don’t know. I used to be that person who claimed to “know” much, and if you were to ask me where Botswana is, id pretend to obviously know exactly where it is on the map…. But not this year. My identity is not in the amount of information I know (somebody remind me of this when I play trivia!!) and it’s ok not to have the answers to all the questions. The goal is to keep searching and looking for truth and answers. 

3)      I’m going to be honest about where I’m at: spiritually and emotionally. If you were to ask me how I’m doing, I’d most likely say, “I’m doing well,” or “I’m going good” (I’m a blogger, not an English writer, ok?). But this year, I want to be honest. How can people encourage me or even relate to me when I’m always doing “well”? (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 3:13) Which, by the way, everyone knows this isn’t true.

4)      I’m going to talk to more people. Have you ever really wanted to talk to someone but you’re afraid that they may punch you in the face? Just kidding. But really, this year, I want to get to know more people deeply. Like what makes them laugh so hard that their stomach hurts, and what makes them grieved in their heart that they wish to change. I love hearing about that sort of stuff.

5)      I’m going to pray aloud more: by myself, with people, with one another. For obvious reasons, I want to pray aloud by myself more so that I can stay focused. This year, I want to pray aloud in a group more. It’s easy for me to shrink back in a chair when I’m praying in a group and blame my silence on wanting to hear other people pray, or having time alone with God by myself… but I’m not fooled by my white lie. I’m scared. This year, I’m speaking up. Another way I want to pray aloud more is to pray for people when they ask for prayer, right then and there.

6)      I’m going to faithfully and consistently push towards my long term goals. I have a lot of goals: run a marathon, play the piano well, play the guitar well, read lots of books, buy an accordion, beat people at trivia, and become a ping pong champion. Ok… the last two are more of wishes. Those goals may seem far-fetched, but someone wise once told me that “we overestimate what we can do in day and underestimate what we can do in a year.” Or two years…. This marathon training is going to take a while.

7)      I’m going to give myself grace. Remember all those times you didn’t pray during bible study? Or all the times you weren’t just listening when your friend needed empathy? Or all those times that you failed at everything? Remember no more. God gives us grace and we should give ourselves grace, too. This year, I’m not focused on all the times I fail.

 

8)      Lastly, I’m going to constantly remind myself of God’s promises. I often find that the root of my fear is not believing in God’s promises. So this year, I’m going to study them, memorize them, and know them so I refute any lie I’m tempted to believe. 

I’m not sure what kind of goals or resolutions you set for yourself this year, but be determined to not let fear control you. The list above are some ways in which I’ve seen fear become very present in my life, but maybe your list is different. I encourage you to write them out and pray for strength as you approach this new chapter in your life.

May you have the best year yet,

Emily Calligan

Goodbye Basketball Part 2 - The Heart Edition

Have you ever had a time where you imagined yourself to be a painter (some of us are born painters, but for the lesser humans out there, like myself, I have to imagine). Anyway, a painter, you have just painted a pretty darn good painting. It looks the right way to be accepted into society, it has all the right focal points to draw attention, and yet has the bright colors to make you smile. Welp, that was kinda like my blog post I just wrote.

It said all the right things to seem spiritual.
It had a couple of key punch lines that were definitely twitter worthy.
It had some very dry sarcasm that was sure to make even the silent of us chuckle.

Why am I telling you about this blog post I seemingly wrote? Well, cause, I tossed it. I was at work typing up a post about Contentment vs. Entitlement. When I finished it, I stood up and starting walking around and praying. I knew this wasn’t my best work, I knew it wasn’t even honest, but it sounded good.

At one point during my prayer, this conversation happened:
Me: “God, how I am the least bit qualified to talk about entitlement and practical ways to overcome it? The past couple weeks have been so hard with basketball starting up, and me feeling like I should play.”

God: “Talk about that. I don’t want you to sound spiritual, I want you to be honest.”

Me: “Wait, what? No, no, no, I can’t talk about basketball; I still can’t even touch a basketball without feeling sad.”
God: “Trust me.”

So I guess we’re here.


Goodbye Basketball Part 2 - The heart edition

Last week I went to the first EVAC Varsity Girls’ basketball game of the 2014-2015 season. I was super excited to support my former team and cheer like the most obnoxious parent out there, but that excitement faded...tremendously fast. Within 5 minutes of the game, my leg was shaking, my head dizzy, and my heart hurting. I missed basketball more than I could have ever imagined.

I managed to get through the game and head off to the see the Varsity Boys’ play. And then I ran into the EVAC Athletic Director upon entering the game. When he saw me, he looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Gracie, EVAC really misses you, and there’s still time for you to join the team.”

What? Wait? Bleh? Jfeiowaewiopafhueos? Now I was really confused.

I didn’t think quitting basketball would be this hard and I didn’t realize how invested my heart truly was in this sport and in the people. I just wanted peace. I wanted to go to that basketball game and feel nothing- feel no attachment to the sport or players, and just peacefully watch.

But there was a greater heart issue I was missing.

One of my friends called me that night to talk through everything that had happened because they knew basketball was a huge deal to me. At one point in the conversation they said something that hit me square between the eyes.

“Gracie, remember where your joy comes from.”

Where does my joy come from? This life isn’t supposed to be about me finding joy in this world; it’s about me finding joy in the Creator of this world.

You know why letting go of basketball has been so difficult? Because deep down I want my life to be mine. I want to clench that pen that writes the story of my life so I can plan for every little bump or crevice that may be on the paper. I want to know all the “knowns” because the “unknowns” are what scares me.

But that’s not God’s story for me.

 A few other examples of areas I feel entitled in would be…
-My job- To be valued and appreciated the way I think my work deserves

-My family - To be cared for and looked after

-My church - To receive the spiritual encouragement and guidance I need to get through the week

-My school - To achieve the grades I want

-My free-time - When I have time in between activities I don’t want to be disturbed. Period.

So basically I have an entitled heart...yay...but why is that wrong?

It’s wrong because that means we are putting our faith in the strength of man to govern our lives when only Jesus can do that.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” -Romans 15:13

God wants to take my entitled heart and turn it into a heart of thankfulness so that he can write the story of my life. In order for that to happen, we need to do a little heart check:

Entitlement starts when we view our life as our own

Thankfulness starts when we see Jesus as our life

Entitlement steals our Joy by making us satisfied with the world

Thankfulness sees this world will never satisfy

Entitlement blames lack of Joy in our lives based on circumstances

Thankfulness recognizes Joy in Christ is NOT circumstantial

This week, let’s walk in the Joy of the holy spirit by choosing a thankful heart in every circumstance. There will probably be a “Goodbye Basketball Part 3” and “Part 4” because this is an ongoing heart process that I am wrestling with. But by golly, if Jesus wanted me to quit basketball and give Him the reigns that lead the horses in my life, I will. Praise Jesus because time and time again, He shows me that He is bigger than my doubts… even when my heart wrestles with basketball.

With pumpkin-pie-stuffing-day tomorrow, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving! Now get off the computer and spend time with the people around you!

 Blessings, Gracie