An Unlikely Friendship: Jonathan and David

When I say the word friendship, numerous stereotypes come to mind. Friendship is something we all want, but have little idea as to what it genuinely means. When looking at the newest social media posts, they all phrase the same desire. “Here is my best friend for life,” or “Friends that party together, stay together.” When reading the Bible the idea of friendship comes up a lot. In Proverbs it talks about how there is a friend sticks closer than a brother. God created friendship to help spur us on to love and do good deeds to others. So Gracie and I asked ourselves, what is a true friendship? In pursuing that, we went to one of the most profound stories of friendship in the Bible - David and Jonathan. This story involves two people that have such an unlikely, beautiful, so-good-it’s-worth-mentioning-in-the-Bible, friendship. While reading about Jonathan and David’s life, I couldn’t help but notice 3 reoccurring themes present themselves continually over the course of their friendship: love, selflessness, and commitment.

1) Friendship thrives on love. “...the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” -1 Samuel 18:1

“…for he loved him as he loved his own soul.” -1 Samuel 20:17

Now, it sounds weird right? Jonathan’s soul being knit to David’s? I’m no nurse yet, but ehhhhhh. But imagine being so close to someone that you truly feel that your souls have been knit together. When I first met Gracie I never pictured we’d even be close friends, she was the popular girl in the homeschool community and I was, well, the awkward girl. But when she first invited me to church after I was searching for one, I knew something was different about this girl. Not only that she brushes her teeth when she gets nervous, but because she knew her identity was solely in Christ. In 1 John 4:8 It talks about how God is love. Imagine if two people not only loved each other with the love from God, but take that love and blessed others with it.

Application point: If you want to have a friendship like Jonathan and David, you must have the mindset of them. They wanted their friendship to be founded on Christ so that the blessing of their friendship could be a tool for God to use to strengthen themselves and others. What is your friendship founded on?

2) Friendship thrives on selflessness. “Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.” -1 Samuel 18:4

It’s important to realize that every time Jonathan would promote David’s desires or would save David from the wrath of his father, jonathan was risking his chance of inheriting his father’s profit and approval. He thought the costs of his friendship with David was more than his earthly treasures.

Not too long ago, Gracie and I went to a rap concert with artists that weren’t well known. Not to mention, they fit into the “hard rap” category, and if you know anything about rap, you know what that means. Anyhow, she heard I was going alone and told me she would go with me. and folks, she DOESN’T like rap. I was a little nervous about the concert, a lover of rap, let alone taking Gracie, someone who is not a fan, to it. Needless to say, I made us stand in the front row about 5 feet from the artists and did my stellar homeschool dance moves the entire concert. Low and behold, I looked over and Gracie was dancing away as well (granted her dance moves were a little inferior to my, well, stellar moves.)

Application point: true friendship takes a lot of self-sacrificing. Jonathan could have gained his father’s favor and riches if he did everything his father asked, but he chose to follow God and stay loyal to David. In what ways do you sacrifice for your friends?

3) Friendship thrives on commitment. “And he said unto him, fear not: for the hand of Saul my father shall not find thee; and thou shalt be king over Israel, and I shall be next unto thee; and that also Saul my father knoweth.” – 1 Samuel 23:17. The amount of encouragement in the passage above is enough to swoon a words of affirmation lover. Ah.

Have you ever been in the car with someone and you’re on the verge of tears, but you really hope they don’t ask you how you’re doing because you might explode in a cryfest? I remember driving Gracie home after an event and silently praying she wouldn’t ask about my well being. But Gracie knew something was wrong, and so she asked, despite my many quiet prayers, how I was doing. Before I could get out, “fine,” she said, “Emily, everything is going to be ok.” and that’s when I lost it. My advice? Don’t cry when you’re the one driving. ha!

Once we got to the house and the car was in park (safety at last again!), she hugged me, prayed, and with every whispered word of encouragement, it sort of felt like she was just repeating, “I’m with you.”. And you know it’s real encouragement when you feel a little more courageous after it. I don’t think I’ve appreciated our friendship as much as I did that night.

Application point: Jonathan showed David his commitment by continually saving him from his father’s wrath and giving him words of encouragement. We can show our friends that we are committed by praying for them, offering words of wisdom, showing them how much they mean to us with an act of service, and just being with them. In what ways have you showed your friends that you’re committed to them?

I really respect Jonathan and David’s friendship because to be quite frank, it’s very hard to do. Nowadays, people don’t value true friendship, which results in new best friends every week, a lack of care for those around us, and bitterness. But really loving someone, putting them before yourself, and committing to them takes a lot of effort. Although the amount of work is costly, the ways in which you can bless and be blessed by such a friendship is worth praising, it’s worth wanting, it’s worth pursuing.

-Emily & Gracie